This is Baby Loss Awareness Week and the following was shared by a friend. We thank her for her openness and honesty in sharing this:
"As this is Baby Loss Awareness Week I thought sharing a bit of my story might help someone else to share theirs. I have lost several babies, to miscarriage and my first full term pregnancy resulted in my daughter being stillborn. That was 21 years ago and I have since had 2 miscarriages. Every loss is devastating, so I would say to any parents who miscarried and feel that their loss is not as bad as someone else's... to please stop comparing... You have just as much right to grieve and be allowed to feel the pain of it, as anyone else.
I know that some people out there don't know what to say to someone who has lost a baby, so often they say nothing and try to avoid you or they say the wrong things, trying to mean well, such as "It wasn't meant to be..." "At least you can try again..."
In my experience the best thing you can say is "I am really sorry and I am here for you" Nothing you can say will make it better, so please don't try to make things better. Just to know someone is there if you need to cry or talk is often enough.
Yes the pain does ease eventually, it doesn't completely go and for me, with every loss, I have lost a part of myself and a piece of my heart. I have both grown and shrunk because of my losses and it is something that will be with me forever. I am very grateful that amongst the pain, I was able to have a beautiful daughter and 4 lovely step children.
Baby loss is still a taboo subject and people don't like to talk about it. So many people have experienced it and it is painful for both men and women. I met a woman in her 70's the other day who lost a son 50 years ago and was made to feel as if it was her fault. She has been carrying that around with her all this time... Hopefully this week will encourage more people to talk and share their stories. Thank you for reading. "
Below are some of the organisations that are helping families who have suffered child bereavement;